Buyers Remorse....

...Confessions of a Shopaholic!

“Hi my name is Jae and I am a shopaholic.” This is a sentence that should become part of my life as I am a true self confessed shopaholic who refuses to get help or God forbid even attempt to find a cure. Actually that would be an unfair statement as I remember the great depression of 2010 when I was unstoppable and tried everything in my power to kick this disease but what can I say, it is what it is and I am what I am…a shopaholic.

I recently purchased a new vehicle, and joined the Audi family - made me feel all German and eeeeevil... okay maybe not the evil part but no doubt I was excited about my new purchase and I dreamed of all the places I could go with this new purchase of mine. Unlucky for me these new found feelings of excitement did not last very long. Once the keys were handed to me and the car was mine by law…oh yup ‘no turning back now’, a little voices said in a little German voice. I tried to silence the voice with happy thoughts that had once resided in my happy place before the German invasion but I was ambushed. Did I mention that this was an impulse purchase?! oh yes I was ambushed. I had thought a little about the purchase but had seen an opportunity that I could not miss. I mean I had been thinking about a new baby anyway, you know for the winter, but had not expected it this soon (I think this is what it feels like to have a premature baby) so rushed and all of a sudden.

A day after my purchase I took my baby for a spin and I treated myself to my favourite chicken place Nando’s. I went with a friend and when we left the car I decided to leave my handbag in the car and go with my purse instead. The food was amazing as usual but we were not quite ready to leave so we went for a late coffee and got chatting. When we realised the time we decided to go back to my baby and I offered to take my mate on a spin, share the love, you know any excuse to drive my baby. When I got to the car my handbag was missing and it became clear to me that I had made a schoolgirl error of not locking my car. My new baby had been broken into and they had taken my handbag. I was in complete disbelief and my poor friend tried to comfort me as I was coming to terms that someone had gone into my car without my permission. ‘At least they didn’t steal the car’ my friend would say, ‘this doesn’t make sense’ he proceeded. Of course I was grateful for all the former but was still too shocked to know what that truly meant. It was after midnight and nothing we could really do about it and so I still offered to drive my friend home. I had no way of getting into my place as all my keys were in the bag so I panicked. Lucky for me I have the best housemates who were willing to wait up for me and let me in the house, even offer me a pillow as I would have to take the couch for a bed that night until I could get a spare set of keys. Oh did I mention the landlady was away on holiday and so I would have to break in to my room the next day, such fun!! Again blessed to have my housemates who picked my lock and I was able to get into my bedroom.

As the new day came I lay on my bed just thinking of my new purchase and the week I had, first saying goodbye to a friend who left the country indefinitely, driving the long distance and then having my bag stolen. Not to mention the family drama, ongoing finance issues and other fun life adventures I'd rather not mention. I lay there thinking of it all and the dominating thought was my new purchase. The feelings I had now after I bought this purchase emotionally:

I was in despair

I resented it

I felt disappointed with myself

I felt scared

I felt hollow

I felt angry

I felt uneasy

I felt I'd let myself down

I felt annoyed

I felt frustrated

I was in pain

I felt depressed

I felt furious with myself

I felt sick

I was in agony

I sat there and wondered:

if I really need this purchase

whether I should have bought anything at all

if I had made the right choice

if I had done the right thing in buying this product

if I'd been fooled

whether there was something wrong with the deal I got

The next couple of days I spiralled myself into depression, I wanted to only be with self. On one day I spent all day in bed and watched movies with the excuse that I needed to ‘rest’. I had gone out for a walk with a friend who I knew I would not have to explain my behaviour to I could pretend I was fine and only needed rest. When I got back home I had felt worse like a traitor to my true feelings that I tried to bury deep down. Next day I had to pull myself together as I had to go to work.

Buyers Remorse

This was me...

After another day of unexplainable sad feelings I went to see a friend who indeed made me feel better but the unexplainable feelings of depression were still speaking to me in little annoying German voices. I remembered a term I heard of at work, ‘buyers remorse’ this was the term the Sales team threw about after they landed a deal in aid to reduce cancellations from customers. As a shopaholic I knew what it felt like to impulse buy and feel some type of way about the purchase. Buyers remorse is the feeling of disappointment you feel after you buy something and you think you have made a mistake. Ah ha! It all started to make sense to me, this is what was going on with my little German voices. I made a decision to stop it all and started by telling the voices that I had made the right decision and listed the pro’s not cons, took steps to make sure that I had all my bills paid relating to the purchase. You know what, I posirively feel so much better. The voices left are the happy kind and I am enjoying my new purchase.

I still don’t know for sure that this was the right purchase at this time in my life or what will happen to me in the future. But “sometimes you don't need a goal in life, you don't need to know the big picture, you just need to know what you're going to do next!” and my next step right now is naming my new baby…how does Céleste sound? It means heavenly or divine. :)