Fickleness!!

Today (4/9/14) as I stood at Heathrow Airport Terminal 4 to say good bye to someone who I grew close to in a what seemed to be a short time.

I began to reminisce on all that we had been through and the reasons for our encounter. How did we even meet, why was this the time to say good bye, would I be next and if so would anyone be here with me to say goodbye to me…carrying the same feelings I have for my friend in this exact moment?? Questions, questions some of which actually had nothing to do with why I was there…as I watched a young couple bid each other farewell, eyes filled with broken tears as they clung to each other sobbing no one willing to let go, but the reality is they had to. I began to wonder what they meant to each other before now, before this moment when they realised that they would not be seeing each other for who knows how long. My heart sunk for them of course as I wondered if this was a short goodbye or what seemed to be a more permanent goodbye as I would have to do with my friend.

Suddenly I was brought back to my thoughts you know the current situation. I would have to say good bye to this beautiful person, who was clearly stressed out as he tried to check in what was most of his last 5years. I watched him as he handled it all so well with what seemed to be composure, maturity and a sense of peace (I'm sure that’s not what he felt). It was heartbreaking and yet strikingly attractive to watch. I thought of how I would say my farewell, one thing I knew is that I was not going to cry (I'm just not that chic lol) all I knew was that I knew not how I would feel when the time came to actually say BYE!!!

I began to think of his family who would no doubt be happy to have him back and, how they would feel when they saw him. I thought and wondered again back to who would be there for me when I move on to the next chapter wherever that may be. They say people are fickle little creatures and I believe that to be true. He kept thanking me, my friend that is, thanking me for what being there  and to me it didn’t seem like I was doing anything worth thanking for or even worth mentioning yet I knew deep down that had he not said those two words ‘Thank You’ I probably would have felt some type of way…people are fickle beings right!!! So, then, why was I here at this time, in this moment, I mean I could have been anywhere else in the world, heck he could have asked many of his other friends to help him and yet here we were. A friend of mine had just text me to say ‘‘you know he would have probably done the same for you…’’ and then rushed in the thought what would happen if he wasn’t there for? How would I feel? Would I hate him and cut him off my life because that’s what people do right?! We place our loyalties in people and then when they don’t reciprocate we through them out like they never meant a damn thang…its called protecting yourself and being ‘smart’! But at that moment I knew in my heart that I was not doing this in some great expectation for him to do the same for me but that he would do the same for someone at the very least. Which means the saying ‘people are fickle creatures’ for many of us has been taken the wrong way, its been interpreted through broken and bitter hearts, causing distrust and all other un-forgiveness issues. How about if we looked at it this way…yes people are indeed fickle, we are truly are and that’s the truth but not at our own fault. It’s just what we do perhaps what we’ve adapted in order to protect ourselves in some sick psychological hypothesis. 

But lets look at it in this perspective, when you help or trust someone or when you are there for someone as I was for my friend on his final chapter to start a new on of this book of life. Did I really expect him to be there for me in my final chapter some day? Well yes it would be nice but the reality is… he will move on meet new people who would need him as would I. Which means he might not be there for me the way I would have hoped and does that make him fickle, absolutely not. All I know is that someone will be there for me in my time of need, because God will always send you someone…He will ALWAYS send you someone. Just as he sent me to my friend, my friend will be sent to another friend, who will be sent to a new friend and so goes the ripple effect that is LOVE and not fickleness.

TRUST in that higher power whatever it is for you and change your outlook to a positive one no matter how radical it may seem. Don’t conform but instead start a new positive trend. You are who you are for a reason. You go through what you go through for a reason…. Someone out there is trying to reach out to you, don’t be so blinded by negativity and past experiences that you end up missing them.

"People Are People and Sometimes We Change Our Minds…" We Are Fickle beings.