Going Slow...

...Having only ever had one boyfriend who also happened to be my high school sweetheart it’s become very clear to that I have no idea what it means to ‘take it slow’ when dating. Now, now before you judge me and think I give it up on the first date, I aint saying that. In fact I’m not even talking about the dating rules re: when we women like to keep the opposite sex waiting for that cookie until the 2nd of 3rd date. I’m not even sure if those tricks work, what I am talking about is when you’ve gone past that and its very clear that you like each and decide to get to know each other better.

That awful tricky stage where you’re not a couple but you do couple things, you decide you’re exclusive, however not committed. You may or may not be having sex at this point however it’s clear there is chemistry so you both try to keep your cool.

So there I was, dating this fine handsome creature of the opposite sex, which made me consider myself to be a very lucky girl. Still in shock that he even looked at me I was still very much there, talking to it every morning, day and night, chilling with it and having quite frankly the greatest escape of my life. I had to keep my cool despite my desire to just scream and shout at the top of my voice for all to hear ‘marry me and lets have lots of babies, or at least engage in the act of making them… if you get my drift ;-)’
Okay lets putt down the cup of crazy because we know I'm not crazy like that, besides that was the least of my problems. My problem started when we went from never spending time together, to seeing it everyday and worse it was showing real interest and wanted to see me everyday. In the short space of 5 months I had some of my personal belongings residing at its boudoir, yet we were still ‘getting to know each other’ and taking things slow. Many times I would think to myself…"self, this is going too fast, slow it down or it will crush & burn” but this creature was sooo damn fine I would crumble whenever it asked to spend time with me. I mean it wanted me, nay, it needed me! How could I be so cruel not to fulfil its command. I would literally forget all that jibba jabba about ‘I wanted to take things slower’, mistook it wanting sex for it wanting to commit to me when clearly this was not on its stupid little mind lol (a little bitterness there)

See there is a theory, not sure who actually researched this, however the theory has all females convinced that these creatures of the opposite sex are cowards. And so when things become too real too quick for them, then they WILL abandon ship and bail leaving you to either sink or swim. Maybe it’s why as females we feel the need to put some brakes on relationships in order to keep these creatures satisfied and in our arms for as long as possible...who knows, I'm just venting!! Now the problem with us females is we like being needed and wanted by these creatures. We in fact find it very attractive that they want us and take this as a sign of commitment (heck I know I’ve been there) to a point were they have some kind of hold over us and we are left confused.
So my question... is there really any benefit for these games that females have been playing for years i.e taking things slow or are we just prolonging the inevitable result of what can’t be changed. The old saying goes, what is meant to be will be, right!? Which means no matter how fast or slow things go when you engage in some communication with these creatures if its for you, then it will be yours and maybe it may even fall in-love with you for who you are?? But this would mean that all the ‘3 date rule’ games etc are just a waste of time?

I’m sorry to disappoint all those who agree with the above, because psychologist have actually proven that relationships that move too fast are more likely to lead to disappointment as the relationship falls apart before it’s had time take shape. And for those that seem to last, the relationship suffers in terms of quality.

So ladies and gents…my advice, take things slow, you can hang out everyday enjoy the love vibes - this will help you see each other in different situations, i.e happy, angry, beliefs, ambitions etc. However make sure you get to know each other, don’t share too much too soon, exclusivity talk is permitted, take your time to introduce friends and family, check back consistently on how you both TRULY feel, look at facts and where things truly are. Remember this is a brand new creature in your life which means it will take time to nurture it and let it grow!!!